Purge... Take 1 (Then I am Through ;o))

Ah a Funny Thing


Why do we as humans want the tangible?
Things that may be a bit to far for us to reach.
Why do we entertain situations and ideals that we are totally against?
We tend to put more of our trust in people than God.

Rai Rambles…

1st Strike… The Break Up
Inner voice: Girl let it go… you deserve much better than him anyway… too many issues to deal with.

Enter… “Possibilities and Entertainment”

Pretty soon in comes the “I really want to be with you… let’s make this work conversation”. Ok… back to a relationship!

2nd Strike…. The Other Woman (Part 1)
Inner voice: Ok… she needs to move on. She couldn’t possibly be telling the truth… I am with him all the time.

3rd Strike…. The Other Woman (Part 2)
Inner voice: WTF? I know he is not entertaining this female outside on his porch in a towel… WHAT? He watched me walk away and nothing was said… no… come back let me explain…nothing.

Enter…. “More Possibilities and Extra Entertainment” Mama aint raised no Fool!

4th Strike… I know… I know… Game isn’t over yet… The alleged trip out of town (a dinner and a movie with the ex… she leaves during which to “get comfortable” coming back in a t-shirt and panties) Of course nothing happened though.
Inner voice: At this point… I am a single being (which I always was being that I am not married) Love is enough… it can get us through.

5th Strike…. Business before Pleasure… The “help out planned that almost got me hemmed up with the police… with out him having my back.
Inner voice: HELL NO! Bye! There is only so much a girl can take.

Okay…

I know we had our quirks, but I was in it to win it (until a couple months ago). I had been preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the time I would say goodbye… we would say goodbye. I will forever be me and he will be him. It is too much… too different. We were too different to be of any use to each other. Sad when that happens huh?

Truly, I live a crazy and upbeat life. No one really knows me… not even him. I tend create characters pending the person I am with… I will admit each character is a piece of me… but no one sees the completion of Rai.

I will say this… I cared for and was physically faithful to him… I don’t even care too much about men like that. He did have a piece of me… a small piece but a piece nonetheless.

I have decided to do something completely different for a while… I will keep a few males in my life but I am deciding to take a break from men all together. What this means? I really don’t know, but what I will say is I am no good for anyone right now.

I am completing my degree and moving in a great direction career wise. I will continue to take care of my son and achieve euphoria on my own.

Whew…

What a ramble.

The End.


~randomthoughtsofrai~