It has recently been brought to my attention, that I am indeed what some would call a “Hot Mess”! Ok… let’s fully analyze this term…
A Hot Mess is the slang interpretation of being a combination of the following: “silly”, “crazy”, “goofy”, “uninhibited”… and comfortable with the combination. I am by far the “ham” of my group of friends… I blurt out any random funny thing that comes to mind.
Fast forward…
For some reason I got a few crazy mental pictures the other day… call it a daydream of sorts …
Ah The Scenarios…
A perfectly toned man sits in front of the woman of his dreams completely naked, masturbating at the mere thought of being intimate with… her. As his ejaculation occurs he silences the moans of ecstasy as not to alarm her of how much he would prefer being inside of her as opposed to his hand. But he can’t… life won’t allow.
FRUSTRATION!
More…
A beautiful woman leaves a party with her two closest friends, headed in from a night of partying. Beauty… as she will be called, jumped in the car with one of the two. After a brief conversation about their mutual interest in women… Beauty later finds herself laid out spread eagle with her best girl pal feasting in her sweet valley. They take turns exploring each other’s body… the sun rises.
EXPERIMENTATION!
Finally…
Boy and girl meet in college. They date for a while, and then decide to take their relationship to another level. Girl was a little weary, because she had a boyfriend back in her hometown and she hadn’t completely decided to end it with him. She was more sure than not, so she decided to go ahead and share an extremely intimate evening with her newfound beau. First, they start out with passionate kissing, and then petting… she slowly eases his pants down. His penis felt soft and unaware… she continued to pet… lick… full out suck… NOTHING! He also joined in on the action… petting her and attempting to gain an erection… NOTHING! So she wears tired and politely excuses herself to the bathroom (then discretely runs across the hall to the room of dear friends to laugh hysterically at his expense).
HUMILIATION!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guess today is composed of more rambles. There will be more to come…
How about those gas prices? $3.22- National Average per Gallon
The End.
~someoneneedstocleanupthehotmess!~
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Say CCCHHEESSSEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!
Thought I would share a cute pic of me, Divine, and her mommy, this past Sunday night.
Enjoy!
The End.
~cccccccchhhhhhhhheeeeeeeesssssssssseeeeeeeee!~
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Rai’s Relationship Ramble
I thought this would be a perfect topic to discuss, due to recent events that have occurred around me. Will we, as women ever really understand relationships? Is there any such thing as trust? I mean real T R U S T? Has honesty completely gone out the window as it pertains to relationships? Does he tell you everything? Do you tell him E V E R Y T H I N G? Omission… is it lying? Leading people to think something that may not necessarily be true, only to spare their feelings. Is that ok?
DOUBLE LIFE…
When is the selection process complete? “I love you?”. “You are the one for me”. “I can only see myself with you”. These are all words… that’s it. What happens when you find out about the “Other Woman”? Or is “she” actually you?
You are spending a romantic evening with your “man”. He has gotten out of the shower, (drying off) and you all hear a knock at the door. He throws on a towel to cover himself and heads to the door. You don’t think much of it, until you hear the voice of a woman. Shortly after, you hear the door close accompanied by complete silence. You wait for about 10 mins and then pack up your belongings and prepare to leave. Has you open the door, you see him standing on the front porch, completely naked underneath a towel, talking to her (his “ex” girlfriend, so he says). You politely excuse yourself to your vehicle were youthen proceed to head “home”.
As you drive away many thoughts leave and enter your mind. The biggest is why he didn’t even ATTEMPT to stop you from leaving. Then you thank God that he didn’t so you would be able to see his true colors. You then realize that you can’t be too mad at the fact that “she” showed up, as you yourself had not a squeaky clean track record (he had no knowledge of this lacking). You then begin to get extremely H O T because of the lack of respect. He then calls you (30 mins later) to “explain”, and half way through the explanation, “she” is clearly heard on the other end of the phone line saying, “Tell her the truth!”. You explain to him that ya’ll are still cool and that he needs to handle that situation because, you are drama free. You hang up the phone, and head for a “quick fix” to take your mind off of things.
How mad can you really be? People get so upset when their significant others behave in a certain way… let’s keep it real. If we as women (and men) thought about all the questionable things we did… it would be a WHOLE different story!
*Trust ladies… a man will do what he can get away with (and we will too)… they are just way… way… sloppier than us. *
The moral of the story is that a friendship is the key to any relationship. We must understand that we are all technically single until we marry. Therefore, we are all figuring out this relationship thing. There is room for mistakes. I feel like we should examine ourselves, and should rank our “significant others” on the same scale. Until a man asks for your sincere hand in marriage, he is unsure about the relationship, and that is ok! Stop making him your complete world! A really close friend always reminds me the importance of life, love, and laughter!
The End.
~hahahahahahaha!~
DOUBLE LIFE…
When is the selection process complete? “I love you?”. “You are the one for me”. “I can only see myself with you”. These are all words… that’s it. What happens when you find out about the “Other Woman”? Or is “she” actually you?
You are spending a romantic evening with your “man”. He has gotten out of the shower, (drying off) and you all hear a knock at the door. He throws on a towel to cover himself and heads to the door. You don’t think much of it, until you hear the voice of a woman. Shortly after, you hear the door close accompanied by complete silence. You wait for about 10 mins and then pack up your belongings and prepare to leave. Has you open the door, you see him standing on the front porch, completely naked underneath a towel, talking to her (his “ex” girlfriend, so he says). You politely excuse yourself to your vehicle were youthen proceed to head “home”.
As you drive away many thoughts leave and enter your mind. The biggest is why he didn’t even ATTEMPT to stop you from leaving. Then you thank God that he didn’t so you would be able to see his true colors. You then realize that you can’t be too mad at the fact that “she” showed up, as you yourself had not a squeaky clean track record (he had no knowledge of this lacking). You then begin to get extremely H O T because of the lack of respect. He then calls you (30 mins later) to “explain”, and half way through the explanation, “she” is clearly heard on the other end of the phone line saying, “Tell her the truth!”. You explain to him that ya’ll are still cool and that he needs to handle that situation because, you are drama free. You hang up the phone, and head for a “quick fix” to take your mind off of things.
How mad can you really be? People get so upset when their significant others behave in a certain way… let’s keep it real. If we as women (and men) thought about all the questionable things we did… it would be a WHOLE different story!
*Trust ladies… a man will do what he can get away with (and we will too)… they are just way… way… sloppier than us. *
The moral of the story is that a friendship is the key to any relationship. We must understand that we are all technically single until we marry. Therefore, we are all figuring out this relationship thing. There is room for mistakes. I feel like we should examine ourselves, and should rank our “significant others” on the same scale. Until a man asks for your sincere hand in marriage, he is unsure about the relationship, and that is ok! Stop making him your complete world! A really close friend always reminds me the importance of life, love, and laughter!
The End.
~hahahahahahaha!~
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Blah... Blah... Blah
I am having a pretty ok day! It is so weird but I am unable to post too much about my current state of mind. There goes that freedom of speech thingy again! I guess... once you do put "things" out in the open... you make it possible for the world to treat you accordingly.
There are a lot of people who know me personally that read my blog. I am definitely ok with that. I mean... I have a couple of pictures posted through out of me. That is pretty cool! I have no problems with that whatsoever. It is due to that why I am unable to truly pour out my heart about what is going on in my mind.
I will say this... it is not personal. My relationship, is what it is. We are actually doing ok! I don't even think past the next 24 hrs. It keeps me sane! LOL!
I feel like I am stuck in place and unable to move... in life period! I have gotten in a rut... and golly gee I will indeed get out! I just need to stay focused and keep doing what I am doing. It is truly a different ball game when you have someone depending on you (Sun)! Then, the option of failing no longer exists. I realize I am talking in circles right now, and I will stop!
It is so weird to show your weaknesses. I am Rai... everyone else's strength! I do indeed get tired often times and need to lean on a shoulder instead of being one. This blog is my shoulder!
On Another Note!
G.A.S. (Gone Absolutely inSane)- The Gas prices are ridiculous! Who ever sent out that senseless email to boycott gas stations on May 15th... Get a Clue. Our Buddies over seas are going to win either way we look at it because we NEED to work... we NEED to go to school... we NEED to go to the grocery stores... doctors appointments... and everywhere else that requires us to drive... therefore... we NEED GAS! Since the 15th gas prices are actually about 5 to 10 cents higher than before! OMG!
I am convinced that only the good Lord himself will be able to knock down gas prices!
The End.
~blahblahblahblahblahblahblah~
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Ooh Wee... Radiance
I had to share this pic. It was taken this weekend after a fabulous night on the town. I know I need to take my behind somewhere and sit down! More intellect to come soon... for now I remain vain!
The End.
~oohweerai!~
Ramblings of Rai...
So… I know what you all are pondering… “Who in the heck does she think she is taking time away from Return 2 Radiance?” I promise I have a very good excuse for my departure for the last week or so… I was just plain tired!
I just had to bless you all with a pic of me! I am beginning to post more. Let’s see…
Mother’s Day Weekend:
It was wonderful… let me take that back… While it was GREAT to see Momma G, Sunshine acted a complete Donkey all weekend long! It was so hard to keep my focus, while trying to deal w/ him and his temper tantrums. All in all I had fun w/ Fam and my best bud Divine (she strolled down with me for the weekend). Too much to talk about! I will post more later!
A Happier Me:
I have vowed to enjoy summer and not let the little things affect me. I also am attempting to be a better friend to those closest to me. By doing that I will contact a friend who I haven’t talked to in awhile. If you are reading this post (you know who you are) be looking for a call from me in the near future. I can’t wait to finish school and pursue the career of my dreams! I vow to take life one day at a time… enjoying every millisecond of it.
There is more, but I promise to be more creative later. I missed you all… too much on my mind to post about currently. I will post something nice and juicy soon!
The End.
~theramblesofraywillresumelater!~
I just had to bless you all with a pic of me! I am beginning to post more. Let’s see…
Mother’s Day Weekend:
It was wonderful… let me take that back… While it was GREAT to see Momma G, Sunshine acted a complete Donkey all weekend long! It was so hard to keep my focus, while trying to deal w/ him and his temper tantrums. All in all I had fun w/ Fam and my best bud Divine (she strolled down with me for the weekend). Too much to talk about! I will post more later!
A Happier Me:
I have vowed to enjoy summer and not let the little things affect me. I also am attempting to be a better friend to those closest to me. By doing that I will contact a friend who I haven’t talked to in awhile. If you are reading this post (you know who you are) be looking for a call from me in the near future. I can’t wait to finish school and pursue the career of my dreams! I vow to take life one day at a time… enjoying every millisecond of it.
There is more, but I promise to be more creative later. I missed you all… too much on my mind to post about currently. I will post something nice and juicy soon!
The End.
~theramblesofraywillresumelater!~
Friday, May 11, 2007
Destination... Dallas!
Ok... faithful Return 2 Radiance Readers... I must leave you all. If only for a weekend! I am heading up 45N to Dallas, this weekend!
Imma see my Momma... Imma see my Momma... Imma see my Momma!
I am so excited to trek up to the Metroplex with Sunshine to see my mother and other dear family members. There is sooo much going on in my life right now, and I would really like to share, but due to time restraints, I am unable to. I will give you all updates as available.
The End.
~ooohimmaseemymomma!~
Imma see my Momma... Imma see my Momma... Imma see my Momma!
I am so excited to trek up to the Metroplex with Sunshine to see my mother and other dear family members. There is sooo much going on in my life right now, and I would really like to share, but due to time restraints, I am unable to. I will give you all updates as available.
The End.
~ooohimmaseemymomma!~
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Freedom of Me…
I was chatting with a dear friend and fellow blogger of mine yesterday. She let the thoughts and opinions of others cause her to delete her entire blog. I had similar issues to deal with as well… with my “other half” back in Da Hiatus (my previous blog) days. He got really upset because I discussed intimate details about our relationship on MY blog.
I will be honest… there is a thin line between being opinionated and hurting the feelings of another. What it all boils down to…
Freedom to be YOU!
If someone is a true friend, you should be able to express your view of your dealings with him or her. I respect all of the people close to me, by not stating their “government” name on my blog. There goes the anonymity. What more is needed? Oooh… I see why celebrities oftentimes take a lot of heat. When ever you communicate to the masses about anything/one other then things directly pertaining to you, the door opens to people and their opinions.
The most important ideal in this whole situation is INTENT… your intent is all that matters. I am a brutally honest and up front person, but my intent is good. I simply deal with those around me as honestly as I possibly can. When asked a question (sometimes), my answer may not be what people want to hear, but it is how I truly feel. This tends to hurt the feelings of others (when presented in large doses). I know and understand this, so it has been my life’s work to balance being me all while incorporating a nicer delivery.
This whole blogging phenomenon is to give people a platform to express themselves… and whaddya know… those closest to us are attempting to cut that extremely short!
My Advice to Fellow Bloggers (as if you asked!):
Continue to express yourself! Be aware of the feelings of those closest to you, but ensure a form of anonymity. Best believe I have shared some private information about myself and those closest to me… the trick is to develop unique ways to convey it (via short stories, poems or taking the people away from the topic and discuss it in general). Always stay true to you.
My Advice to Friends of Fellow Bloggers:
Know and understand that things that happen with you and your friend will make it to their blog every now and again, and it is ok. As long as their intent is good and anonymity is there… don’t fret! Writers express themselves through word… it is ok. True friendship deserves honesty and freedom to be you.
Well… I think that is the end of my long spill. I guess this post is a GREAT example of my point. It was inspired by a real conversation and event that occurred recently in my life, and to think… I didn’t use any names… other than my own!
The End.
~thefreedomofmeisthefreedomtobe!~
I will be honest… there is a thin line between being opinionated and hurting the feelings of another. What it all boils down to…
Freedom to be YOU!
If someone is a true friend, you should be able to express your view of your dealings with him or her. I respect all of the people close to me, by not stating their “government” name on my blog. There goes the anonymity. What more is needed? Oooh… I see why celebrities oftentimes take a lot of heat. When ever you communicate to the masses about anything/one other then things directly pertaining to you, the door opens to people and their opinions.
The most important ideal in this whole situation is INTENT… your intent is all that matters. I am a brutally honest and up front person, but my intent is good. I simply deal with those around me as honestly as I possibly can. When asked a question (sometimes), my answer may not be what people want to hear, but it is how I truly feel. This tends to hurt the feelings of others (when presented in large doses). I know and understand this, so it has been my life’s work to balance being me all while incorporating a nicer delivery.
This whole blogging phenomenon is to give people a platform to express themselves… and whaddya know… those closest to us are attempting to cut that extremely short!
My Advice to Fellow Bloggers (as if you asked!):
Continue to express yourself! Be aware of the feelings of those closest to you, but ensure a form of anonymity. Best believe I have shared some private information about myself and those closest to me… the trick is to develop unique ways to convey it (via short stories, poems or taking the people away from the topic and discuss it in general). Always stay true to you.
My Advice to Friends of Fellow Bloggers:
Know and understand that things that happen with you and your friend will make it to their blog every now and again, and it is ok. As long as their intent is good and anonymity is there… don’t fret! Writers express themselves through word… it is ok. True friendship deserves honesty and freedom to be you.
Well… I think that is the end of my long spill. I guess this post is a GREAT example of my point. It was inspired by a real conversation and event that occurred recently in my life, and to think… I didn’t use any names… other than my own!
The End.
~thefreedomofmeisthefreedomtobe!~
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Tales from Da Hood..
Normally, I am a positive person and would never condone ignorance such as this... let alone post it on my blog, but I just had to share. A dear friend of mine (my ex-fiance) emailed this clip to me today, and I was in extreme disbelief! Some people question the validity of this tape. Coming from my 'hood (growing up) it definitely goes down like this!
Take a Look!
I don't condone domestic abuse, but Big Momma definitely held it down on her own!
The End.
~whysetyourselfupforfailure~
Take a Look!
I don't condone domestic abuse, but Big Momma definitely held it down on her own!
The End.
~whysetyourselfupforfailure~
Message in a Massage
Ah... yesterday I retreated! I left this world as I knew it at 7:45pm last night... only to return around 8:50pm. Yes... ladies and gents! I Radiance... got a massage. It was totally a spare of the moment sort of thing but... ah it was so relaxing!
I am so consumed with the hustle and bustle of the things around me, I rarely make the time for me. All of that changed on yesterday! I sat back... relaxed... and enjoyed the message of a lifetime ;o)! It was very relaxing and came at the perfect time, considering the roughness of my week.
The Message of My Massage...
Get back to you Rai! Stop stressing about life and love and keep it moving! It's far past time I stir up my life!
I challenge all of you... take time for yourself. Sit back, relax, and do something for you!
The End.
~enjoymassagingthemessageoutofyou!~
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Peace in Me...
For so long I have looked for happiness in the arms of others. I actually had to come to terms with this over the weekend. I often find validity in the confines of a relationship. Why am I so afraid of myself? I have pondered this question over and over.
Well... for once in my life I ponder NO MORE! I love me and God will send me that person who will do the same... in His time. I will be honest with you all... I have begin to get the marriage bug! Seriously... MARRIAGE has weighed heavily on my mind lately! I would have jumped into it in a heart beat! I was all mushy... and started to get upset (internally) with my partner because it seemed as if he didn't feel exactly the same way as me... I had to take a really deep breath...
There are a lot of things about my relationship that I would change in a heart beat, while there are others that are truly unique and irreplaceable (truly)! We both have things we need to work on... then there's PJ (the younger guy I hung out with during the breakup). He is so infatuated... he totally adores me and shows me that side of a man that I have missed for so long. Don't get it twisted... I by no means would leave my relationship for him... he just reminds me of those quirky things that I miss in a relationship. I think that is one of the reasons he was presented to me. What I have in my relationship is unique... genuine and truly heaven sent.
If I could ask God one thing it would be... why are the "surface" things weighing so heavenly on me when I have a true internal connection that only happens once in a lifetime?
I will wait for the answer but in the mean while I need to find the Peace in Me. I will be honest... something clicked for me yesterday. I spend so much time worried about my future, I don't fully enjoy my present.
I need to get back to me...
Well... for once in my life I ponder NO MORE! I love me and God will send me that person who will do the same... in His time. I will be honest with you all... I have begin to get the marriage bug! Seriously... MARRIAGE has weighed heavily on my mind lately! I would have jumped into it in a heart beat! I was all mushy... and started to get upset (internally) with my partner because it seemed as if he didn't feel exactly the same way as me... I had to take a really deep breath...
There are a lot of things about my relationship that I would change in a heart beat, while there are others that are truly unique and irreplaceable (truly)! We both have things we need to work on... then there's PJ (the younger guy I hung out with during the breakup). He is so infatuated... he totally adores me and shows me that side of a man that I have missed for so long. Don't get it twisted... I by no means would leave my relationship for him... he just reminds me of those quirky things that I miss in a relationship. I think that is one of the reasons he was presented to me. What I have in my relationship is unique... genuine and truly heaven sent.
If I could ask God one thing it would be... why are the "surface" things weighing so heavenly on me when I have a true internal connection that only happens once in a lifetime?
I will wait for the answer but in the mean while I need to find the Peace in Me. I will be honest... something clicked for me yesterday. I spend so much time worried about my future, I don't fully enjoy my present.
I need to get back to me...
In My Perfect World
I would love to go camping in Montana... layout in the sun and feel the warm breeze on my skin. I would love to swim in the Pacific with the dolphins and then have dinner with Maya Angelou. A day in the hot seat on Oprah followed by a nice quiet evening along the Nile River would be great. I would have a nice cuddle with the kangaroos in Australia and make snow angels in Alaska. I would back pack in Honduras and hand out medicine in Africa. I would feed hungry children in Somalia and be the voice for women in Pakistan. I would write book after book and learn language after language. Time doing me... if only in my mind. Restoring the Peace in Me.
The End.
~imustreturntothepeaceinme~
I would love to go camping in Montana... layout in the sun and feel the warm breeze on my skin. I would love to swim in the Pacific with the dolphins and then have dinner with Maya Angelou. A day in the hot seat on Oprah followed by a nice quiet evening along the Nile River would be great. I would have a nice cuddle with the kangaroos in Australia and make snow angels in Alaska. I would back pack in Honduras and hand out medicine in Africa. I would feed hungry children in Somalia and be the voice for women in Pakistan. I would write book after book and learn language after language. Time doing me... if only in my mind. Restoring the Peace in Me.
The End.
~imustreturntothepeaceinme~
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