Beauty's Distortion...

Truly remarkable! This is an ad from Dove's Self Esteem Campaign. I encourage all women to watch this and show it to all of the young women in your lives. The Evolution... of beauty! No wonder I couldn't measure up!



The End.

~beautyisintheeyeofphotoshop!~

Ode to Elektra Amongst Other Things

Such a long time since I wrote!

My apologies people! Life has been hectic lately. I am just getting over a cold that won’t quit and… other life issues. Oh yea J-Bigg… to answer your text that asked which superhero I would be… I have decided to emerge in to Elektra!

Elektra is by far my idol. She is a beautiful, ambitious assassin who is the sparkle in Daredevil’s eye. She is skilled in martial art, intelligent and super hott! I’d do her! LOL. I just thought I would start this post off in Ode to Elektra.

Random things:

*My nail on my left pointer finger is broken at the skin (OUCH!) and it is super duper hard for me to type this post without using it.
*I really have to get Sun some summer clothes and new sandals.
*I can’t wait for the Total You Tour (www.tampaxtotalyoutour.com) this weekend! Susan Taylor, here I come!
*When is this day going to be over?
*I really hope I can see my cousin (visiting from Cali) and old bud (just moved down from Dallas) this weekend.
*Will this rash ever go away? Ok… let me explain this one, I have really sensitive skin and about twice a year I breakout in this hideous rash on my stomach, legs and neck (sometimes). It is truly irritating!
*When will it be my time to shine?

I guess that is about it for now ladies and gents. I will post something more interesting later.

The End.

~induetimeiwillelectrifyintoelektra~

Sunshine Better Never...Ever... Think About It!

Two Cuties...

Hey Radiant Readers!

It has been a couple of days since I posted... so I thought today should be the day! I just had to bless ya'll with a pic of me (on the left) and my bestest B U D Divine. We have been hanging extremely tight lately and it has indeed been a blast.

Divine moved down here about a year ago, from the Midwest. I have had a blast introducing her to Texas! In the pic above we were at a shoot for a show on www.lioneyetv.com (On Da Scene). I normally stay behind the flashes of camera's but I thought... what the heck!

We truly had a good time that night. I hope you all enjoy the pic and best believe that I will have more juice and "fun topics" coming your way shortly.

The End.

~twocutiesarealwaysbetterthanone!~

Keeping the Real in Your Relationship…

I just had to write about this topic as it has recently come to my attention how important my relationship is to me. My chicas (as I call them) wonder how my relationship with my partner has survived recent turbulence. The only reply that I can give is relevant to the realness of our relationship.

For once in life I am in a situation were I can be 110% me… and it is ok. I am not forced to fit into a stereotype or attempt to become the type of woman he would want me to be. I can simply and only be me.

I guess what I am attempting to say is a relationship can never last without “realness”. Honesty and realness are synonymous terms. A relationship cannot thrive with out honesty. Actually it is the building block of any relationship. Honesty gives each person the ability to see exactly what they are getting into with out the usual facades that are put up in relationships. Will there be exes? Yes. Will there be habits you are not use to? Yes. Will it be easy all the time to handle the truth? No. …and Yes… the truth does hurt sometimes, but it is truly important to know the truth AND handle it according to your personal morals and ethics.

I challenge each of you out there that are involved in a relationship to become your man/woman’s best friend. Treat them as you would your closest girl/guy friend. Take all the censors off and get to know you partner for who they are. The fact of the matter is it all comes out at some point or another. …and yes, get ready for possible DRAMA. Especially if you are dealing with someone who is morally a good person, physically attractive and successful… believe me… the exes will pop out of the wood works.

Realness can conquer ALL.

So… my challenge to you all is to be real with your mate. Become best friends and see were that takes you. After all… any solid relationship is based on the friend factor. Become ace koon boons (as my Granny ‘nem would say) and take it from there.

Peace and Blessings.

The End.


~realnessisreadinessforthenextlevel~

CK Gets Cozy...

I just had to post about this... my Baby's Daddy... CK popped the question to his Lady Friend of over 2 years... Cozy. They went on a romantic getaway for his birthday this past weekend and... he returned an engaged man.

First things first...

He came up to my job today to check on our son... Sun. I noticed that he was quite tanned, eluding to the fact that he went somewhere sunny. Probably Miami... as she went to college out there. He asked to see me in my office. It was weird because he never asks to talk to me. Our relationship stops at Sun. He then told me about the engagement. I told him of how happy I was for them both and had nothing but the best of wishes for them.

About Cozy... she is a beautiful and intelligent female that has it going on for days. From what I know of her she is educated, loving and on her way to making Sun a GREAT step-mom. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about her.

Let the truth be told...

I am but a wee bit jealous. Not that Cozy is marrying him (he is definitely for her... not me). I just thought I would be the first to get married of the both of us. I have paid all of my love dues and I am ready to settle down and raise a family. I want it sssssooooooooo bad I can taste it. Lets see... All of my exes are walking down isle soon... first my ex-fiance/first love is marrying his fiance at the end of the year... now my Sun's dad is tying the knot. Me... I am someone's girlfriend! I won't get too discouraged... as I soley want to do what God has for me. My needs are not important at all.

I wish Confused K (CK) and Cozy nothing but the best!

The End.

~ifonlyiwastheonetyingtheknot~

Soley Keeping it Real!

I would like to begin this post by giving thanks to J, Leggs, Princessa and Eryn for the enlightenment given for the previous post... "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong."

Princessa... I almost had to take you up on the offer to "ride out". They don't know us!

JBigg... you can put up your beach chair and popcorn 'cause nothing is unfolding around these parts. It may sound weird to you all, but the situation was diffused really quick.

In a Nutshell...

Obviously I was (and still am) keeping my eyes open to the situation. The ex began to "stalk" me in away after I responded to her message. She is indeed obsessed over King... too weird to me as I have never been obsessed over anyone. I can't speak for what he has or hasn't told her, but she is a bit much. What really opened my eyes to how delusional she was, was when she claimed to have been with him on dates that I was with him all day and being with him at events that I was with him at... unless he has a twin. She then admitted to lying to me. As for the deletion of my comment... which was nothing major... he knew how crazy she was and didn't want her to have access to me. Obviously... that didn't work... he got a real good "talking to".

I am his woman and I can post whatever I would like to were ever I would like to. Men will do what you let them. This was definitely a learning lesson for him. I command the utmost respect. Believe that. I don't care how private he is!

Saying all this to say... it was definitely a drama filled situation that I did not want to have any parts of. King and I just started to have issues nearing the year mark. Just growing pains of a relationship. I love him and he loves me. Though I am not a fool I will never let a woman come in between us. We are much more than lovers... we are best friends and most importantly... we are better than that. She was a stalker and is willing to do anything to ruin our relationship. Don't get it twisted... I still have my eye on him, but what is real is real... I have all access to his life... keys... locations... friends... family.

Yes. A man will cheat... but... I am not psychic. I know how I am treated.

I had a really interesting conversation with a dear friend. We decided that there is a thin line between being in love and being a fool. For real love to last sometimes you have to be a bit of both. No one will understand my situation and no one is supposed to. I had to post about the situation so thanks for listening... reading.

Those of you all who know me personally... know how tough my skin is and how I deeply evaluate situations. That has not changed. I grew up with guys who did all kinds of dirt... I have did all kinds of dirt. Dirt doing is inevitable... it is true understanding and unconditional love that comes once in a lifetime.

I have truly found my soul-mate and nothing is going to stop us.

For now.

The End.

~lifehandyouanemptybottle...beatthatb*tchwitit!~

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong!

OMG… I am too confused… in a funny way though.

Ok… here is the run down. I never ever ever hardly keep up with Kings website… EVER. Today I decided to be a thoughtful “renewed” girlfriend. I updated something’s on my page and I posted a comment on his… (his websites community page is set up just like My Space). I proceeded to post a cute comment on his page in Spanish. It basically said, “I miss you sweety and hope you are having a great day. By the way, the site is coming along great. Bye. Your GF. Rai”

I thought nothing of this and continued on with my day. About 2 to 3 hours later I log back on and I have a message in my inbox (on his site) from and ex of his (I recognized the name). She wants me to call her so we can “chat” about some things. She left me her number, and that was that. This was really weird to me so I began to turn on my FBI and CIA mode. I went back on to Kings page and noticed that he had deleted my previous comment. This indeed peeked my interest.

I am not jealous or messy, but something is not right about this. I haven’t decided if I am going to call her or not but I definitely want to speak with him first to figure out what is really going on. I failed to read the “girlfriend cannot comment on CEO King’s profile page” clause in the membership agreement. An innocent… sweet comment stirs up all this?

Unfreakin Believable!

The End.


~whensweetcommentinggoeswrong!~

Only If...

Hey Radiant Readers!

I wrote this piece about a year ago... as sad as it is... there is definitely a message enthralled in each line.

Only If...

I am hurting
I am dying
Slowly inside
In spite of my pride
I cannot hide
Any longer
Time out for the lies
Hiding from life
I need You in so many ways
As a little girl
My trust banished
For man
That night
I remember it vividly
Even though I try to forget
He entered my room so quietly
To simply tuck me in for the night
He had promised momma
He would take care of everything
Make sure everything was all right
She did all she could
All she knew how
Dancing at the club for quick cash
See... momma was a good girl
Smart as can be
But, she learned at an early age to
Use men to supply all of her needs
As a single mom
To one daughter and three sons
At age 12 my growing up had just begun
Momma found a man
A good man she thought
Soon he moved in
And nightly, early sexual lessons he taught
Me
First it was an innocent kiss
On the cheek
The lips
Soon he moved lower
Then stopped
I was terrified
At the thought
Of the unknown
Which leads me back to that night
After slipping into my room
He hovered over me
I felt his breath on my neck
Soon his hands found their way under the covers
Under my shirt
I pretended to be sleep
Hoping it would all go away
I closed my eyes hard
Real hard
The nightmare continued
He found his way to my pink-laced panties
Slowly lowered them
With terror my body shook
And that night... it was my innocence he took
It happened night after night
I was afraid to tell momma
I didn't want to start a fight
Between her and him
For once in her life she was happy
He completed her
So what if I had to please him now and again
It kept him there
Keeping momma happy
The years crept by
Slowly it seemed
I retreated from the world
Too ashamed of my past
Until it came back too haunt me
I felt really bad one day
Sick as can be
Caught a cold I couldn't shake
Went to the doctor
Test after test
I waited...

and waited...

Just when, in my mind
I made the past fade
The doctor diagnosed me with full-blown AIDS
By that time I had a strained relationship with mom
Hadn't talked to her in years
In my quest to finally tell her of the past
She had already passed
From the same disease as me
I am scared
As I lay in this bed
With a few breaths left
Know that I had good intentions
Didn't know it would lead to my death
Don't be scared like me
Tell someone
Scream as loud as can be
Don't end up like me
...


~Rai~

Ladies.... young women... girls... even some guys... do not be afraid to speak out if someone you know is in a sexually or domestic abuse situation. You could be their only hope. For resources and more info log on to: www.hawc.org - no worries, if you are not in the Houston area, the organization is confidential and can give you info about the shelter/center nearest you.

Make a difference!

The End.

~ifonlyyouwouldspeakhelpyoucouldseek~

Inkalicious

Ok... ok... I did it again! I got another tattoo on Saturday! Totally another whim. I will definitely calm down with all the inking!

I love this picture of Tommy Lee... his tattoos are well put together... not to mention he is by far one of the sexiest guys I have seen (on the tube!)... oooh... INKALICIOUS!

I anticipate getting numbers 5 and 6 within the next month and I will be done. I am extremely into all the inking for some reason. At the age of 26 you would think I would be over the "tattoo" craze... I am just now getting into it though!

I got Sun's (my 4 year old) name accompanied by stars on my lower back (across... and a little lower than my name). I felt bad getting all these symbols when Sun is the most important thing NEXT to God in my life!

Ah... what am I gonna do with myself!

The End.

~theinkingwillceasewhenigrowtired!~

The Brightness of Night

Not sure why am posting ... I can take alot from this... but due to time constraints I will keep it extremely short and simple.

It appears as Ararva- (as her name is) has alot that encompasses her. She is a beauty externally... yet the dragon and ghost are symbolic of her dark side. She looks really sad. The type of sad that arrived when she grew tired of being mad. The ghost and is attempting to tempt her, while the dragon is protecting her...

I see alot of her in me at times.

A really beautiful work of art none the less.

The End.

~thedarksideshines!~

A Mended Heart...

You know… it is funny how love works. In all honesty we all often misuse the word L O V E. I was truly in a relationship that encompassed all that the word was meant to and does mean.

Love is the combination of reciprocal unconditional trust, honesty, respect and compromise. One must attain all of these traits (mutually) to have true unconditional Love.

As you all know… my love was tested… it was greatly tested…

After a long overdue conversation King (formally known as ‘X’) and I decided that our love was greater than both of us. We decided to reunite and stay that way. I thought it was really important that post about this because I do not anticipate discussing my relationship as much on Return to Radiance. This blog is more about me individually.

I still appreciate PJ being around to ease my mind during the initial break-up, but I know who God intended me to be with, I plan to respect that. No matter how or what you think a relationship is supposed to be… God has it all figured out.

Lord knows I don’t have all of the answers. I do know one thing… true love like this doesn’t happen often.

Enough of the LOVE posts…

I shall return to being Radiant ME!

The End.

~amendedheartisjustthestart~

Emailism… (a word of my creation!)

Hello, my name is Rai, and I am an Emailaholic.

I just had to post about this, because it did not hit me until today. I am addicted to checking my email. It does not matter where I am or what I am doing, I find time to periodically check my email messages. If I am away from a computer for too long, I start to freak out. When I reply to someone I check a million times (unless I am truly busy) to see if they responded. Sometimes I just sort through old emails. I dunno… visitors… I dunno!

Isn’t that weird?

Technology… is consuming my life nowadays. I can recall when I was younger (before the Internet) and I was forced to hand write letters to friends and wait for an opportune moment for them to intercept the letter (which could take all school day). The only other option I had as a kid (for most of my adolescence) was the telephone. Now between emailing and text messaging no one really ever has to physically see each other or verbally communicate to convey a thought.

Heck, due to this blog most of you know more about me than people that see me every day and a lot of you have no idea who I truly am. This is definitely something!

The point of this post is to explore the true reason why we are so technology crazed… and most importantly… why I can’t go two seconds with out checking my email.

I will never truly understand why… time will tell!

The End.

~what’snerdierthananemailaholic?~

Young Man… Older Woman

I had to post about this, as it has come recently into play in my own life! By the way… I just LOVE Ashton and Demi… I think they will make it work!

Before I share… dare not judge me. I am not proud of the fact that I officially ended a relationship (3-31st-07) at 12pm only to have a “date” at 2pm.

Let me explain… I initially needed to vent. I soon found out that PJ (as I will call him) is an indeed SWEETHEART! I won’t go too deep into details, but I will say that he is someone I met a while ago who just happens to be a few years younger than me. I am in my mid almost late twenties… and we all know how your typical early twenties guy behaves. Such is not the case… for him anyway…

PJ is truly into me… I am taking each day as it is and am not by any means going to rush into anything. I will say he is a joy to be around… It is AMAZING to be around someone who is actually interested in you… and can learn a couple things from you and vice versa. I am the first one to encourage women to be complete in and of themselves… let’s not get it twisted though Ladies… we should all be with someone who treats us like a Princess in EVERY way! We should feel adored and appreciated continuously. Never…ever… ever let a man make you feel like you are not worthy of this. What he won’t do SOMEONE else will! Believe that!

I think all in all… I wanted COMPANIONSHIP… and I am indeed enjoying it. PJ is a handsome college graduate with ambition. Most importantly he has a personal relationship with God… a very spiritual God fearing church going man. I definitely admire that regardless of his age. I am enjoying the ride so far… can’t wait till tonight!


I truly feel like Stella getting my Groove Back. My personal life definitely needed a face
lift. So far, I am happy with the results!

The End.

~youthfullnessbirthshappiness~

Pink Punk Princess Pretty Pearly Panties…

As I laugh at life and reflect… I am excited at the fact that I am a real life Princess… Love ALL things Pink and Pearly… not to mention my love for Pretty Panties.

Laugh… as funny as it seems… God was indeed right when he said all things work together for GOOD!

Princess Rai… I was born a Pretty Princess… through out life I have always been treated as such… I am fancy in all that I do and UNIQUE… whew… Over the pass couple of years I have merged into a more alternative… Punk/Hip/Urban/Stylish Princess. I have so much fun playing around with fashion trends. It is indeed fun.

Pearls… I love everything about pearls… the texture… array of colors… the shape…

I love me and (most) of those who feel the same ;o). LOL! I am a walking work of art! As we all are… the most important thing is that we know and utilize our talents. God gave them especially to us!

Back to the Pink Princess’ Pretty Pearly Panties:

I love panties… my favorite style is the thong! It took my butt awhile to get use to them, but I now the thong and I are inseparable. Not to mention the low-rise effect. I love anything low rise. I have a midriff to die for, so I flaunt it when ever possible!

Colors…colors… I love any pair that is COLORFUL! Rainbows are my fav. My girls are always saying… “Girl…you know what the Rainbow is symbolic of?” I have no problems… Lesbian or not I… loooovvvee… the Rainbow pattern.

Sexy fun… I also absolutely enjoy the lacey sexy variety!

I LOVE PANTIES!!!

Ah guys… not sure what sparked this burst of energy, but I wont try to analyze, rather ENJOY!

The End.

~prettypinkprinceshasspoken!~

Help the Homeless: YOU Can Make a Difference!

This Saturday I (along with WHEW) will be participating in a Homeless Toiletry Drive. The invent is sponsored by my church, but I have took the initiative to gather the toiletries myself.

When I first heard about the event it definitely did my heart some good. I know you all see them (as pictured above). The beggars on the side of the street asking for coins, when what they really want is change (within). That is the type of change I pray for each person in this type of situation to have. My prayers may not be enough... each has to want this type of change for themselves.

The ultimate goal this weekend is to give those in need the proper products they need to achieve the necessary hygiene that we take advantage of daily. I encourage each of you to become involved in the fight against homelessness. Contact your area homeless shelter and see what it is you can do to get involved.

You have the power to save a life!

I will be collecting toiletries through out the week (for those of you in the Houston Area) email me at mentalradiance@yahoo.com for more information.

Get Involved!


The End.

~ucanchangetheworldonepersonatatime!~

The Rainbow's End...

Hi There...It is me... Rai, and I am indeed back. Today marks the first day of the rest of my life! As most of you know I spent about a year blogging During Da (my) Hiatus. Well, I am proud to say that it is done... finished... over!

I created this new blog because it was time for me to Return to Radiance. I spent all of my Hiatus in a relationship. A relationship that ended! I put everything into it... but neglected myself during the process. Now it is time for me to do me.

I will get to the end of the Rainbow I call a life! You all know what I am going to do in the meantime? Enjoy the view. I am enjoying life. I want to take you all on this new journey with me. It is not all about a man or a relationship... it is about me!

Ah... I have indeed returned and I look forward to sharing it all with each of you!

MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUAAAHHHHHHHHH!

The End.

~IhaveproceededtoreturntotheRaiwithin!~