For so long I have looked for happiness in the arms of others. I actually had to come to terms with this over the weekend. I often find validity in the confines of a relationship. Why am I so afraid of myself? I have pondered this question over and over.
Well... for once in my life I ponder NO MORE! I love me and God will send me that person who will do the same... in His time. I will be honest with you all... I have begin to get the marriage bug! Seriously... MARRIAGE has weighed heavily on my mind lately! I would have jumped into it in a heart beat! I was all mushy... and started to get upset (internally) with my partner because it seemed as if he didn't feel exactly the same way as me... I had to take a really deep breath...
There are a lot of things about my relationship that I would change in a heart beat, while there are others that are truly unique and irreplaceable (truly)! We both have things we need to work on... then there's PJ (the younger guy I hung out with during the breakup). He is so infatuated... he totally adores me and shows me that side of a man that I have missed for so long. Don't get it twisted... I by no means would leave my relationship for him... he just reminds me of those quirky things that I miss in a relationship. I think that is one of the reasons he was presented to me. What I have in my relationship is unique... genuine and truly heaven sent.
If I could ask God one thing it would be... why are the "surface" things weighing so heavenly on me when I have a true internal connection that only happens once in a lifetime?
I will wait for the answer but in the mean while I need to find the Peace in Me. I will be honest... something clicked for me yesterday. I spend so much time worried about my future, I don't fully enjoy my present.
I need to get back to me...
Well... for once in my life I ponder NO MORE! I love me and God will send me that person who will do the same... in His time. I will be honest with you all... I have begin to get the marriage bug! Seriously... MARRIAGE has weighed heavily on my mind lately! I would have jumped into it in a heart beat! I was all mushy... and started to get upset (internally) with my partner because it seemed as if he didn't feel exactly the same way as me... I had to take a really deep breath...
There are a lot of things about my relationship that I would change in a heart beat, while there are others that are truly unique and irreplaceable (truly)! We both have things we need to work on... then there's PJ (the younger guy I hung out with during the breakup). He is so infatuated... he totally adores me and shows me that side of a man that I have missed for so long. Don't get it twisted... I by no means would leave my relationship for him... he just reminds me of those quirky things that I miss in a relationship. I think that is one of the reasons he was presented to me. What I have in my relationship is unique... genuine and truly heaven sent.
If I could ask God one thing it would be... why are the "surface" things weighing so heavenly on me when I have a true internal connection that only happens once in a lifetime?
I will wait for the answer but in the mean while I need to find the Peace in Me. I will be honest... something clicked for me yesterday. I spend so much time worried about my future, I don't fully enjoy my present.
I need to get back to me...
In My Perfect World
I would love to go camping in Montana... layout in the sun and feel the warm breeze on my skin. I would love to swim in the Pacific with the dolphins and then have dinner with Maya Angelou. A day in the hot seat on Oprah followed by a nice quiet evening along the Nile River would be great. I would have a nice cuddle with the kangaroos in Australia and make snow angels in Alaska. I would back pack in Honduras and hand out medicine in Africa. I would feed hungry children in Somalia and be the voice for women in Pakistan. I would write book after book and learn language after language. Time doing me... if only in my mind. Restoring the Peace in Me.
The End.
~imustreturntothepeaceinme~
I would love to go camping in Montana... layout in the sun and feel the warm breeze on my skin. I would love to swim in the Pacific with the dolphins and then have dinner with Maya Angelou. A day in the hot seat on Oprah followed by a nice quiet evening along the Nile River would be great. I would have a nice cuddle with the kangaroos in Australia and make snow angels in Alaska. I would back pack in Honduras and hand out medicine in Africa. I would feed hungry children in Somalia and be the voice for women in Pakistan. I would write book after book and learn language after language. Time doing me... if only in my mind. Restoring the Peace in Me.
The End.
~imustreturntothepeaceinme~
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